I must confess this past week was perfect in so many ways {and yet a total wreck}. I spent Sunday-Wednesday with two great friends in Cape Cod. Nothing but sunshine, relaxing, laughter, amazing food & cocktails. Just the little reset I needed after some health issues I've been dealing with and the basic day-to-day of being a wife & mama. It's hard sometimes.
As relaxing as my little trip was, it was immediately back on Mom detail as soon as I walked back in the door. What's for dinner, all the laundry, back to running kids around - it's non-stop.
I use to think that my kids would get easier and less demanding once they were older. While in so many ways they have, I feel like I hear "Mom.... mom.... MOM...." even more so now?! It's a little crazy!! However, as their days at home grow fewer and fewer each year - I cherish those "Mom" moments and often wish we could turn back the clock a tiny bit. It's crazy to me that one will be a sophomore and the other an eighth grader in less than a month. Yowzer.
It has also made me realize I am getting older. 40?! How in the world did that sneak up on me... I'm totally fine with getting older but I struggle with the idea of my parents getting older. I find myself wanting to spend all the time I can with them. Whatever that means as far as time - a quick stop in when I'm walking the dogs; going to the market with them on Saturdays; dinners together; swims in the pool... I'll take whatever. These days may not last forever.
On Sunday they came to our rescue when Ben was having some issues with his truck. Ben was feeling guilty about me calling them {did I mention we've been married 18 years?! Just let that go already}. They didn't think twice. Ugh, it's that kind of "Hey we need you" that I dread losing. I might be a Mama and a Wife but I'm also very much a "Daddy's Girl". All these identities tucked into one person...
They mentioned how they were going to spend the day picking tomatoes. I immediately felt like I had to help - not that I didn't have a million other things to do but because it was one more chance to spend some time with them. And two more hands would make for lighter work?? Maybe. Or maybe it was an escape from reality and all the things I really had to get done.
While picking I told my mom that I'd have to go soon because I had to work on my blog post, grocery shop, laundry, you know - alllll the things. And she was like what's this week's post about, picking produce? {She's a funny one!} And I was like yes... "How to Pick Produce? - Go to Wegmans." Have you ever picked tomatoes? Seriously, just go to Wegmans. {All joking aside - my parents are pretty darn amazing and drastically reduce my Wegmans bill this time of year}.
Then it was back home to REALITY.... to the fact that it looked like a bomb went off on our kitchen counter. All the bags from the Saturday evening shopping trip. More laundry to be done. Vacuuming. Dishes. The Blog Post. Menu Planning for the Week. Grocery Shopping. It's really HARD {and overwhelming} to be the Wife/Mama sometimes.
While certainly it's on me for skirting my responsibilities for part of the weekend - part of me doesn't feel all that bad about it. We're all still here, no one died because all the laundry wasn't done and our meal plan is still only half set for the week. And... the vacuum was never run. I must confess while I was initially feeling a little guilty about it and in my earlier days would be having an anxiety attack over it - I'm so much better off now just realizing that this is REAL LIFE. MOM LIFE. There's good days and bad days - Wow, I really rocked it days and Whoa, I am a total loser days... Pick yourself up Girl. It's going to be ok.
My family was/is happy as little clams. Ben off golfing with a buddy for the afternoon; Brennan riding his dirt bike, mowing the lawn, hanging out with me at Papa & Grandma's; and Camryn enjoying her time with the neighbors for part of the day. Life is good - we're all healthy.
While I certainly was feeling a tad stressed about not really accomplishing much of anything on my list, it gave me a healthy perspective. In a world where we want everything to look picture perfect and will make ourselves crazy trying to have it that way- ask yourself why?! And is it worth it? Why and for who? As I asked myself yesterday- my biggest worry was the Blog Post I had planned that certainly was not going to be happening because I decided to make other things a priority rather than myself & my Blog. Good, bad - whatever. In the long run - what does that mean? It means that the only ones who would be disappointed {potentially} are my readers. And when you ask yourself would they really be disappointed when they consider real life - the answer is probably not.
{I'm sure there are those few who may be judging - stop and ask yourself why. Generally that judgment comes from a place inside ourselves that is less than perfect. Sadly. Stop today with that judgment or at least try. Because again - we are all just trying to do our best. It just looks better for some than others. Pick up your fellow mamas instead of knocking them down. You'll feel better and so will they! ❤}
While having a to-do list and priorities is wonderful and really essential to keep things moving along - don't feel bad if every now and again you get derailed & things don't go as planned. In the end it will all work out. Promise.
Happy Monday & Fresh Start!